The Adventures Of Fatherhood – June 9, 2023

There’s nothing quite like observing my wife watch my son at work in a restaurant.

I find her anxiety and observations funny, but I don’t think Beckett, 15, feels the same way.

Beckett will be working as a bus boy at Sterling Tavern in Berlin this summer. He worked in a similar capacity last summer at the Surfside Rooster while also trying out the role of a kite flyer on the beach for The Kite Loft.

We decided to simplify this summer after running him back and forth to Ocean City way too much last season. Although I enjoyed spending a lot of time on the Boardwalk because people watching is always enjoyable, it will be much easier for us with our kid being able to walk and bike to work this summer. To me, it represents a quality-of-life improvement, which I am all about these days. I think he will find it easier as well.

After giving him time to get settled in for a couple weeks, Pam, Carson and I went to Sterling Tavern recently for dinner. It was a busy night over Memorial Day weekend. Because she is a mom, Pam found it impossible to relax. I was a bit anxious as well watching him at work, but Pam was clearly concerned. I was enjoying the opportunity to watch him be busy and working hard knowing there was nothing I could do even if I wanted to lend a hand. I really enjoyed – probably way too much — when he took all our plates after we were done eating.

At one point, a piece of silverware or two hit the floor from across the room, and Pam speculated whether it was Beckett. We were in a booth, and she could not see how it happened. In an attempt to settle her nerves, I told her he went upstairs. She seemed relieved until he walked by a few seconds later with a bin of dishes. She just gave me the look people who have been married for a while give each other every now and again. I honestly was hoping he was upstairs.

When a lot of time went by without seeing him, Pam wondered what our son was doing. Though she didn’t say it, I think she had visions of him slacking off dancing through her head. Meanwhile, I was looking for our server to get her another drink.

Though I didn’t want to micromanage him, too, it was time for us to go and we still hadn’t seen him for a bit. I went upstairs and found him clearing off a huge table. As we were leaving after paying our bill, we heard a loud sound from upstairs. She turned to me wondering, and I just quickly tried to change the subject, muttering something how he’s in the kitchen.

A reader sent this to me this week thinking I would like it. Some of these I think I have covered with my kids, but certainly many I have not yet.

It’s funny I printed this out for Beckett one day and sat it on top of his video game console to ensure he would see it. He said he read it.

I do not know who the author was, but it’s titled, “Rules To Teach Your Son.” Some good ones in here for me as a 47-year-old man, too, especially No. 30.

  1. Never shake a man’s hand sitting down.
  2. Don’t enter a pool by the stairs.
  3. The man at the BBQ Grill is the closest thing to a king.
  4. In a negotiation, never make the first offer.
  5. Request the late check-out.
  6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
  7. Hold your heroes to a higher standard.
  8. Return a borrowed car with a full tank of gas.
  9. Play with passion or don’t play at all…
  10. When shaking hands, grip firmly and look them in the eye.
  11. Don’t let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.
  12. If you need music on the beach, you’re missing the point.
  13. Carry two handkerchiefs. The one in your back pocket is for you. The one in your breast pocket is for her.
  14. You marry the girl, you marry her family.
  15. Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like crazy underneath.
  16. Experience the serenity of traveling alone.
  17. Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room.
  18. Never turn down a breath mint.
  19. A sport coat is worth 1000 words.
  20. Try writing your own eulogy. Never stop revising.
  21. Thank a veteran. Then make it up to him.
  22. Eat lunch with the new kid.
  23. After writing an angry email, read it carefully. Then delete it.
  24. Ask your mom to play. She won’t let you win.
  25. Manners maketh the man.
  26. Give credit. Take the blame.
  27. Stand up to Bullies. Protect those bullied.
  28. Write down your dreams.
  29. Take time to snuggle your pets, they love you so much and are always happy to see you.
  30. Be confident and humble at the same time.
  31. If ever in doubt, remember whose son you are and REFUSE to just be ordinary!
  32. In all things lead by example not explanation.
  33. Dress how you want to be addressed.
  34. Be blessed by being a blessing.