The Adventures Of Fatherhood – May 13, 2022

Inspiration comes in all forms, and a source this week was Elizabeth Bonker.

A 24-year-old woman from New Jersey with non-verbal Autism, Bonker was one of Rollins College’s five valedictorians, achieving a perfect 4.0 GPA. The four other valedictorians requested Bonker deliver the speech during the graduation ceremony. Her speech was six minutes long and presented through a text to speech program. It was amazing.

Her story hits closer to home for my family as our 12-year-old son Carson is non-verbal with autism. He works with speech therapists multiple times a week and utilizes a device to articulate speech, although it brings severe anxiety for him.

Listening to this young woman’s speech Tuesday night was a highlight of my week. It was incredibly emotional to hear and serves as a reminder to never underestimate and always encourage. Here are some excerpts from this moving speech from this beautiful soul. I encourage you to search the internet for the video.

“Rollins College class of 2022, today we celebrate our shared achievements. I know something about shared achievements because I am affected by a form of autism that doesn’t allow me to speak. My neuromotor issues also prevent me from tying my shoes or buttoning a shirt without assistance. I have typed this speech with one finger with a communication partner holding a keyboard. I am one of the lucky few non-speaking autistics who have been taught to type. That one critical intervention unlocked my mind from its silent cage, enabling me to communicate and to be educated like my hero Helen Keller. …

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During my freshman year, I remember hearing a story about our favorite alumnus, Mister Rogers. When he died, a handwritten note was found in his wallet. It said, “Life is for service.” You have probably seen it on the plaque by Strong Hall. Life is for service. So simple, yet so profound.

Classmates, you have shared your passion for service within our community. Our friends in the sororities and fraternities raise money for so many worthy causes. Our friends at Pinehurst weave blankets for the homeless. The examples are too numerous to list. Rollins has instilled in all of us that service to others gives meaning to our own lives and to those we serve.

Viktor Frankl wrote about the power of sharing in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning. While suffering in the Nazi concentration camp at Auschwitz, he noted how, despite the horror, there were prisoners who shared their last crust of bread. He writes, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

We all have been given so much, including the freedom to choose our own way. Personally, I have struggled my whole life with not being heard or accepted. A story on the front page of our local newspaper reported how the principal at my high school told a staff member, “The retard can’t be valedictorian.”

Yet today, here I stand. Each day, I choose to celebrate small victories, and today, I am celebrating a big victory with all of you.

The freedom to choose our own way is our fundamental human right, and it is a right worth defending, not just for us, but for every human being.

I want to publicly thank Rollins College for taking a chance on me. For caring about every student. For being a place where kindness lives.

Dear classmates, today we commence together. But from here, we will choose our own ways. For me, I have a dream. Yes, just like Martin Luther King, Jr., I have a dream: communication for all. There are 31 million non-speakers with autism in the world who are locked in a silent cage. My life will be dedicated to relieving them from suffering in silence and to giving them voices to choose their own way. What is your dream? …

Whatever our life choices, each and every one of us can live a life of service—to our families, to our communities, and to the world. And the world can’t wait to see our light shine.

So, my call to action today is simple. Tear off a small piece from your commencement program and write “Life is for service” on it. Yes. We gave you the pens to really do it. Let’s start a new tradition. Take a photo and post it on social media. Then put it in your wallet or some other safe place, just as Mr. Rogers did. And when we see each other at our reunions, we can talk about how our commencement notes reminded us to serve others.

We are all called to serve, as an everyday act of humility, as a habit of mind. To see the worth in every person we serve. To strive to follow the example of those who chose to share their last crust of bread. For to whom much is given, much is expected.

God gave you a voice. Use it. And no, the irony of a non-speaking autistic encouraging you to use your voice is not lost on me. Because if you can see the worth in me, then you can see the worth in everyone you meet.

My fellow classmates, I leave you today with a quote from Alan Turing, who broke the Nazi encryption code to help win World War II. “Sometimes, it is the people no one imagines anything of who do the things no one can imagine.”

Be those people. Be the light! Fiat lux. Thank you.”

About The Author: Steven Green

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The writer has been with The Dispatch in various capacities since 1995, including serving as editor and publisher since 2004. His previous titles were managing editor, staff writer, sports editor, sales account manager and copy editor. Growing up in Salisbury before moving to Berlin, Green graduated from Worcester Preparatory School in 1993 and graduated from Loyola University Baltimore in 1997 with degrees in Communications (journalism concentration) and Political Science.