There are a new generation of fathers out and about, and it’s wonderful to observe them from a distance.
In some ways, it seems like yesterday I became a father for the first time, but the reality is my oldest son turns 14 in a couple months. There are many long days along the way, but it’s true the years are short looking back.
Everything – most importantly life perspective – changed when I became a dad.
Over the last few months, it’s been a pleasure to keep up with some new fathers embarking on their journeys. I have spoken candidly to a handful of new fathers over the last month. The excitement and anticipation of their wives being pregnant and awaiting the big day was fun to observe. Then came the baby announcements on Facebook and the beaming photos of a new chapter beginning in their lives. It’s one of the beautiful things about social media in my estimation. Though there are many negatives, it’s a lot of fun to see pictures of families being built and growing over time.
During several conversations with these guys, I always try to emphasis the importance of soaking it all in and, most importantly, remaining engaged and present in their little one’s lives. They all respond with similar comments. They are excited and ready to be a father and the experiences of a lifetime ahead of them. It’s how I was, and I have no doubt these young dads will remain passionate and committed to their families.
Unfortunately, many babies born in our country are not so fortunate. Some kids will never meet their father. It’s the case for my two adoptive sons whose birth fathers we do not know anything about, as their birth mothers were unable to share with them their intentions to place their babies for adoption. There are many other stories of fathers not being involved in their kids lives due to marriages falling apart, addiction issues and misjudgments.
It’s something I think about whenever I see the billboard on Route 50 advertising fatherhood.gov – which is a product of the National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse aimed at encouraging and promoting responsible male parenting and role modeling.
While I am sure the site provides appropriate resources for some, I am encouraged by what I see out of fathers in our area in general. I see dedicated dads coaching their kids in sports; cheering on their daughters at horse, dance and cheer competitions; running the gauntlet of school drop-offs in the mornings; meeting with teachers for parent conferences; and juggling responsibilities with their wives.
I witness fathers wanting to be involved and aiming to help their kids. They don’t want their wives to have to handle everything. They are home cooking dinner so their wives can meet a girlfriend at the gym after work. They come right home from work to help around the house and be with their families. I am so proud of these fathers.
We all know moms are the hearts and souls of families. They are typically the leaders of the home. They hold it all together and are daily heroes for all they do, most notably putting the needs of their families first all the time.
I know my role in my house. Pam is the MVP of the family. She serves multiple roles and does it well. I have learned a lot from her. I like to think she has a partner who will do whatever it takes to ease her load.
Maybe it’s the circles I travel in, but I see great fathers all around me who are engaged, dedicated and committed to their families. I also see male actors and athletes – who in the past have made high-profile mistakes in judgments – brought to tears talking about how their lives have changed since becoming fathers. Starting a family is supposed to be a major life changing event and I think more and more fathers – in general – are approaching it that way.
A column from Monstrosity said it well:
“Let’s hear it for the dads.
The ones who make our hearts explode the first time we see them holding our babies.
The ones who put the baby in the car to drive around the block because colic is real and you just want to shower in peace.
The ones who don’t “babysit”— they parent.
The ones who hold us up when we’re feeling weak.
The ones who come home after a long day of work, ready to pitch in— or who stay at home with the kids so that we can bring home a paycheck.
The ones who cook breakfast on the weekends and make blanket forts like a boss.
The ones who wrestle on the living room floor, even with a bad back, because they know how much he kids love it— and how it wears them out before bed.
The ones who rock a diaper bag, and a minivan, and still look hot.
The ones who are strong enough to carry our overgrown kids around— even when they’re old enough to walk— but vulnerable enough to get teary when they think about walking their daughter down the aisle.
The ones who remind us that we were people before we were mothers, and the ones who remind us that we’re so much more than just a caretaker.
The ones who support our purpose and our passions.
The ones who work hard, play hard, and love harder. Who make life fun and support us always.
We never thought we could be more in love with you until the day you became a father.
Here’s to you, dads.”
