Monday was all about the new for Carson — new school, new people, new earlier start time and new routine.
Ocean City Elementary was the only school he has known for the last seven years. Though he officially started his fifth grade year at Berlin Intermediate School online a few weeks ago, his first true day inside the building was Monday. It was also the first day with his mom not as his one-on-one guide.
Pam and I have had tremendous anxiety about this whole transition for months. In all actuality, we started thinking about this move to his new school last fall when we started his final year at OCES. We knew it was going to be challenging for him under normal circumstances. With the extended time away from school life, we knew it would be tough to transition into his new world outside of his home, which is his safe place. Change is a source of stress for kids on the spectrum like Carson. We know it will take time to adjust.
Over the weekend, our worries heightened with Monday looming. We were able on Friday to introduce Carson to some of his new teachers at his new school. We felt comfortable and settled by that opportunity. Carson seemed to be in a good place.
Throughout the weekend, we went through our new routine and what Monday morning would look like. We wanted him prepared. One of our concerns was the earlier start to the date – getting at school by 7:30 a.m. rather than last year’s 8:30 a.m. Since he is an early riser, we felt pretty good about it.
On Monday morning, as luck would have it, we had to wake him up. The last thing we wanted to do was rush him so we needed him to have a good amount of time to wake up. That means starting his day at 6:30 a.m.
As the morning played out, I was pleased with how he adapted. We set a new routine for him to follow and all went great. I was quite confident pulling into school the transition from us to his new one-on-one would be smooth. We decided I would take Carson on this first day. It could be problematic to have his mom along because of his deep attachment. It’s not that he doesn’t have those feelings for me, but it’s different. It’s a mom thing. I get it.
At first, Carson wouldn’t let go of my hand at all, so I figured I would walk him to the door and keep the mood light. He still had me in a death grip. We were not going to separate outside the school without a scene. We went into school together and then we pivoted to his special education room where it was quiet and no other kids around. I tried to break free multiple times. Even a few bounces on a trampoline and kisses from three adorable therapy dogs didn’t work. There were big tears. A meltdown was coming, but I had to roll. After about 20 minutes, it was time to break free. I had to make a run for it while his teachers blocked him.
On the drive away from school, my emotions got the bets of me. It was reminiscent of leaving a panicking Beckett at his first day care when he was 3 years old. I called Pam and muttered some nonsense that’s best kept between a husband and wife.
Fortunately, I didn’t have to wallow in those raw emotions for long. The best text ever came a few minutes later from Mrs. D saying, “All good, needed a hug and a spin, will keep you posted. Thanks for everything!.”
I figured it would be the hardest day. Tuesday morning would be better I was sure. Pam dropped off the next day and it was much of the same for her. There were tears once again.
Come Wednesday we plotted a strategy with his teachers. We were going to bring dog treats so he could look forward to feeding the therapy dogs as soon as he came into school. Much to my delight, as I pulled up to school, Mr. DJ (his new one-on-one) was waiting for us with Ozzy, the therapy dog. I think Carson actually saw them first and pointed them out to me with a big smile.
As we got out of the vehicle, Ozzy greeted Carson. When he reached for my hand and showed signs of clinging, I put the leash in his hand instead and reminded him about the ice cream treat I promised him if there were no tears. Pam also worked out a deal with him that a trip to World of Toys would be in order Friday if he had a good week.
Though I did need to walk with him and Mr. DJ, Carson grabbed the leash and walked into school on his own without any emotions. It felt like winning the lottery. The plan had worked out great.
I couldn’t mask my excitement over seeing him walk through those doors without tears. Mr. Cowder, the school principal, seemed to share in the relief as he had seen the troubles the last couple days. He was equally excited.
It’s amazing living a moment you know you will never forget. Carson overcame a lot in his first few days. It’s a major change in his life. It wasn’t easy, but he has shown once again his resilience.
Oh yeah, he’s doing all this while wearing a mask without complaint. We have to celebrate these winning moments.
