Adventures Of Fatherhood – September 22, 2017

Adventures Of Fatherhood – September 22, 2017

Forgetful is the latest adjective I am using to describe Beckett.

He has a long list of positive attributes, including being funny, smart, optimistic, compassionate, understanding and kind-hearted. However, he also has one not so positive trait. He’s forgetful. There are times he can’t remember to do the simplest of things.

At our house, school mornings have long been a whirlwind. I’m an early riser so I typically take care of most of the morning duties with the kids. To help with the efforts and start the day on a more organized note, Pam created a “when” and “then” plan when it comes to the kids. It involves them getting themselves dressed, making their bed, brushing their teeth, eating their breakfast and the like. The concept goes “when” all those things are taken care of in the morning, they “then” can do what they want before school. In Carson’s case, that typically means playing with his trains in his room. In Beckett’s case, that always means iPad time.

Carson needs a little help along the way in the morning process but Beckett doesn’t. What our older son does need is a constant double check before the “then” part to ensure everything has been done, including a breath test for teeth brushing, a check to ensure he has on underwear and a look at his bed. Invariably, he forgets one aspect of the “when” part each morning. He is definitely not a fan of the new program but it’s certainly made my mornings less stressful.

Staying with his absent minded nature, Beckett, 9, forgets some aspect of his homework just about every night. He always plays down the significance of it. That’s aggravating to us because we know he cares tremendously about doing well. He just can’t seem to remember to bring home everything he needs and there have been consequences for him at school. The good news is he’s gotten a lot better over this week as he gets more accustomed to school.

What’s amazing and ironic to me is how he can remember every single fact about international soccer players, WWE wrestlers, scores of previous soccer games, his personal stats in soccer and basketball, first and last names of all his classmates and teammates, biographical facts about Michael Jackson and Jackie Robinson and the exact date and time of when I once took the Lord’s name in vain after an unfortunate situation with Carson.

Despite all of these nuggets in his mind, we can rest assure tonight Beckett will forget to bring home his gym bag full of clothes for physical education class for the week. This is the first year he and his classmates change for it and we have yet to see the bag since the first day of school. I have decided I’m not going to go into school and get the bag myself. He has to take responsibility and remember to bring home his bag, which includes the clothes he has worn for class since school started three weeks ago. I’m guessing by now they may be getting a little ripe.

I did this same thing last year with rain jackets. One rainy day (only after wearing a coat three times too small) he finally came out of school with five jackets over his shoulder representing the various forgetful afternoons. It was a funny sight.

One day he will finally come home with his gym bag with his dirty clothes. My guess is it will be because he is embarrassed by how wrinkled and dirty they are. Until then, we just wait and remind him daily. I’m thinking it will be sometime next month when we see that bag.

I plan on adding some deodorizers to it when we see it.

Although just 7 years old, Carson is well aware and sensitive to what’s happening with other people.

That’s just in his nature. Where he may be behind on his expressive language, which is largely due to the fact he’s non-verbal at this point, his senses are honed when it comes to what’s going on around him, especially when something is not right with someone.

One day at school during a recess “reverse drill” recently, he noticed a child was upset. He evidently went out of his way to ask a teacher for help. This was huge for him to express himself in a clear way like this without a voice. The fact he stayed with his friend throughout the drill speaks volumes to his caring way.

Knowing that happened is great to hear as parents. The fact he was recognized as a Star Citizen for his compassion made it even better for us and for him.

We have been holding that Star Citizen sticker and recognition over his head over the last week when we see behavior and actions taking a sour turn. It’s a wonderful tool.

Whenever we remind him the school can take that way (which, of course, is untrue), he shapes up immediately. He’s proud of it and so are we.

About The Author: Steven Green

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The writer has been with The Dispatch in various capacities since 1995, including serving as editor and publisher since 2004. His previous titles were managing editor, staff writer, sports editor, sales account manager and copy editor. Growing up in Salisbury before moving to Berlin, Green graduated from Worcester Preparatory School in 1993 and graduated from Loyola University Baltimore in 1997 with degrees in Communications (journalism concentration) and Political Science.