The Insider

The old guy stayed up late the other night to actually see if it happened. Insider had been hearing about how certain machines, such as computers, televisions, phones and so on, actually know when to turn ahead (yes, it’s forward, not back). It was said when the clock strikes 2 a.m. they would automatically bounce ahead one hour. Insider did not believe it for a minute so he positioned himself in front of all the electronic gadgets he could muster up to see if it was true. The old guy does not own a computer so that was out, but his best friend has a cell phone and he a couple televisions and VCRs. There he was at 2 a.m., tuned into Fox News, with a cell phone in one hand and his remote control in the other. When 2 a.m. came, nothing happened. The clocks were on wrong in the house, but all was right in the old guy’s world. He went to bed that night with a know-it-all mentality.

Before Insider could even boast about how he was correct and everyone else was wrong the following morning, all the clocks on all the televisions and VCRs were correct. The cell phone was right. Somehow they had all been changed, he thought. His best friend had something to do with it, the old guy felt assured. Even the cell phone was right.

When he woke up enough to speak, Insider asked his friend whether she had changed the times. She promised she had not, and she’s a church-going gal so the old guy knows a promise is a promise with her. It seems sometime between 2 a.m. and 10 a.m. the clocks adjusted themselves without any human intervention. This does not sit well with the old guy. Perhaps the idiot Dell guy from years ago is right – who needs a brain when you have technology.

Things The Old Guy Dislikes: Stand-up comedians who have to curse to be funny; those who don’t pay their bills; movies that are not accurate with the books they are based on; awards shows; rude awakenings; special-interest groups who play politics; all the police investigative shows on television; an unfair sense of entitlement; late-night sex movies; and sitting next to spoiled rotten children in a restaurant.