Every now and again it benefits the soul to reflect on how much my young kids are changing, and it wasn’t a difficult chore this week to come up with some examples.
My kids are now 6 (“and a quarter”), as Beckett likes to remind me, and 4 (almost 5) years old, in Carson’s case. While still crazy and wild boys at times, there’s no disputing the fact they are growing up, changing and maturing in a fast fashion.
There are times when having adult conversations with kids around can be trying. It’s something Pam and I have been addressing with our boys for years.
Oftentimes when she and I are talking, one of the boys, or both, will disrupt us in attempts to get our attention. It can be annoying at times, particularly when acting up is part of the attempt.
Beckett has become much better at being patient and not interrupting as much as he had previously. I realized that while I was having a conversation with our day care provider the other day. We were talking about another child being ill and the specifics of the symptoms and so forth.
Patiently waiting for me to take him to school was Beckett, who offered up some funny 6-year-old observations.
“I’m listening and I’m not even a grown up. I have no idea what you guys are talking about, but I’m just sitting here listening anyway patiently until you guys are done,” he said.
Once we were finished and he had the floor, he had some things to get off his chest. He went on to explain the unique characteristics of a marsh and how he maintained a recent test question that he got wrong at school was misleading and unfair.
I feigned the same type of interest he showed us during our conversation.
The 4-year-old of the house is a handful and can test just about anyone’s mettle with his unexpected actions, but there are glimpses of hope in his maturation.
Because he can be so difficult and demanding at times, we treasure these positive times because there are so many daily bumps along the way. Our afternoon on Assateague last Saturday was one of those occasions to relish.
The beach is Carson’s happy place. That’s a relief because there’s no place I would rather be. Beckett and Pam feel the same way. Consequently, we are there a lot, but there are days when Carson can ruin the experience with obnoxious behavior.
Fortunately for us and those around us on the bayside that day, he was an angel and spent about five hours playing in the knee-deep water and keeping himself entertained.
A few times throughout the day, Pam and I would remark how fantastic he was being and quickly cut the conversation short so as not to jinx ourselves.
Every once in a while just to remind us of his good behavior he would bring to our attention that a boogie board or tube he had been playing with was floating away. He would then laugh as one of us chased it down.
Once he realized how much fun that was for him, the day started to unwind a little for us, but I will take it nonetheless.
For about three months, I have been planning a little weekend getaway with some buddies to Charleston, S.C. I hadn’t mentioned anything to the kids until this week because I have mixed emotions about leaving the family behind.
When I told Carson that I would not be back until Sunday at lunchtime, he just shook his head in a no fashion and signed, “all done,” as if he was finished with that conversation.
When I informed Beckett, he asked me if it was something I wanted to do or if it was for work. “Why don’t you want to spend the weekend with us?,” he asked. I then went about explaining in a long-winded fashion how that was not the case and how his mom would keep me in the loop on how he did on his test on Friday and in his soccer game Saturday.
After I explained everything, he let me off the hook, saying, “it’s okay there’s plenty of soccer games and it’s only like 40 hours you will be gone, right?”
I had not actually done the math, but I was excited by his reasoning and that he didn’t give me a harder time.
Previously, when Pam and I have gone away for a night, we were reticent to tell the kids because we didn’t want to upset them. We usually just glossed over the details and let them know Mom Mom would be having a sleepover on a particular night.
It was great to see them handle my time away in stride.
During a soccer game last week, Beckett and opposing player had a collision. Both fell down.
Beckett was first to get up. Instead of racing to the nearby ball, he helped his opponent up, grabbed her by the shoulders and looked her in the eyes to see if she was okay.
Of course, a nearby opponent was able to get to the ball and easily score a goal while Beckett commiserated with the player.
Pam and I were happy to see the good sportsmanship on his part at that moment, but not so much when he turned around and realized the other team had scored. He gave himself a quick slap to the head in a “what was I thinking fashion” and threw a dirty look at the player he had just helped out.
There was both maturation and regression in that case.