At certain times, I think all dads have done something stupid.
I think there is something about being a male that leads us from time to time to make questionable decisions. Indeed, there are times when our judgment is just not on the money. Usually, aided by the benefit of hindsight, we end up looking quite foolish. However, these silly acts do usually make for great stories.
That’s what I was thinking when I observed a hilarious situation unfold on the beach a couple weeks ago. Since I didn’t know the family, I can’t know for sure, but from what I saw I was able to come to a few conclusions.
It was a family of four. The father took both kids and a beach chair toward the water. There was a boy who looked to be about 6 years old jumping waves with a body board, while the father held his daughter who was probably about 18 months old. It looked like the dad was giving the mom some alone time so she could make a phone call.
At one point, the boy’s body board got away from him. Despite numerous attempts by the dad to get his son’s attention, the boy was oblivious his body board was floating down the beach. The father then stood up, sat the toddler down in the chair, gave her the flat out hand gesture that said “stay” and went in the water so his son could hear him.
The toddler was immediately up and running in the other direction with whatever was in that red Solo cup in the chair, while the body board continued to drift from the boy. Then all of a sudden came the mom from her chair with phone in tow showing her dissatisfaction with her husband’s judgment. All the while the body board was still drifting.
I have found myself in this position of temporary lapses in sanity several times and if I could have I would have reminded that dad to keep his chin up. He was trying to do a good thing but got flustered and humbled. I’ve been there.
A few personal examples that fall in line with this lame-brained situation include:
•I play a lot of soccer with Beckett in the backyard. Sometimes he likes me to video him doing this or that move. A couple weeks ago, he wanted me to record him making saves in the goal as I shot.
I figured the best way would be to line up a bunch of balls and just fire away at him. He made some good saves but at some point he jammed a finger and I hadn’t noticed it. I got a little too into it apparently and kept shooting. As luck would have it, one of the balls hit him directly in the side of the head.
He didn’t like it too much when I praised him for making such a great save (with his face).
•Five years ago or so, I was throwing a whiffle ball to Beckett and it was not going well. Either he was missing it altogether or I wasn’t throwing it where it needed to be. I kept getting closer and closer. Eventually I was just a few feet away from him. At first I was on guard but as he continued to spray the ball all around me and behind him, I loosened my guard.
As luck would have it, he hit a beautiful line drive that hit me directly in the most sensitive of areas. As I fell to a knee, he ran off to the nearby trampoline, saying, “let me know when you’re ready to pitch again.”
He likes telling that story all these years later.
•A few years back, I was giving the kids a ride on the golf cart around the backyard when something fell off. I quickly jumped off to get it as did Beckett.
That left Carson alone in the golf cart. Of course, he pounced on the opening and floored it, resulting in some of the most anxious moments of my life. I was able to catch up to him but his facial expression of pride and excitement was awesome. That was a ridiculous lapse in judgment on my part that ended well.
•There have been several ocean mishaps with the boys over the years. I can’t recall all of them specifically, but Pam probably could rehash each of them in great detail.
One that stands out in my memory dates back a few years. Both kids wanted to go out past the breakers but were a little cautious.
Therefore, I put Carson on my shoulders and carried Beckett. I knew almost immediately I had not timed the waves well, as a couple crashed on top of us. Neither kid was ever in danger as I had death grips on them, but each got roughed up pretty good.
The kids’ reactions were priceless. Beckett loved it and wanted more, while Carson cried hysterically pointing to the beach for his mom. When we got to the beach, I said to Pam something along the lines of, “I think he got some saltwater in his eyes.”
Her response of “you think?” and the look were equally priceless.
