The Adventures Of Fatherhood – March 12, 2021

As a follow-up to last week’s rambling about the wonders of raising teens, and specifically getting them to do homework without brawling, a friend sent me a snip of an image that hit home. Thanks to Ryan Kirby for sending it my way courtesy of @raisingteenstoday.

The image contained the following text:

“How A Teenager Does Homework

Goes to their bedroom, opens laptop

Decides they want a snack

Spends 16 minutes staring in the fridge

Goes back to bedroom with a piece of cheese

Scrolls through Instagram for 15 minutes

Watches 42 YouTube videos

Does 2 freaking math problems

Texts their friends to tell them math sucks

Facetimes a friend so they can work on homework together

Gossips with friend about everything under the sun

Goes to bed at midnight because they’re tired of doing homework


Rather than work on something involving a deadline or a matter of importance, this message inspired me to look around for some other silly memes and takes on homework, parenting and raising teens. These are challenging times for us with our middle school kid. It seems things are either a fight or smooth sailing. Both are unsettling because we never know what we are going to get.

One day he comes home from school, tells us he has a lot of homework, but he will gladly give up Facetime with friends later to get it done so he can play outside until dark. Another day he mopes in the house fretting over two tests the next day, informing us they are going to keep him from concentrating on the pickup football game he wants to play in nearby.

There are complex moods and attitudes that go beyond comprehension. Along those lines, here are some results of my research, some are funny and some meaningful.

Me at 16: I’m never going to be like my parents.

Me at 45: Why the hell is every light on in the damn house?

•The great thing about raising teenagers is seeing how sweet and kind they can be … to every person that isn’t you.

•When your kids become teenagers buy Alexa so someone listens to you. Added bonus: Alexa never rolls her eyes.

•I thought raising teeangers would be like those goofy old Brady Brunch episodes about curfews, acne and dating.

It’s not.

It’s more like Survivor meets Dateline – hang in there and don’t murder anyone.

•Teenager: Yes Dad I understand for the 20th time.

Teenager: (Five minutes later)Wait, what did he want me to do again?

•I used to make fun of my parents for going to bed at 9:30 … now I wonder how they stayed up so late.

•Our parents really used to drop us off at the skating rink with money and leave.

•Being a parent of teenagers is so  hard

But boy, oh boy, being a teenager is hard, too.

If we can just step back a moment to remember what it felt like to be in their shoes, maybe it would help us parent with a little more grace and understanding.

•Mom: Clean you room, family is coming over

Teenager: Oh I’m sorry I didn’t realize the gathering would be held in my bedroom.

•There are times as a parent where I have to ask myself a very important question: Is this just adolescence or am I just amazing at raising an &%#&5@#?

•Teenager: noun 1. Someone who is ready for the zombie apocalypse but not ready for the math test tomorrow.

•The Teen Years .. one giant facepalm for parents.

•Raising a boy is pretty much Fortnite, Roblox, Pizza, Noodles and begging them to take a shower and brush their teeth.

•Dad: Did you brush your teeth? It doesn’t seem like it

Teen: Yes why don’t you trust me?

Dad: Because the toothbrush is dry.

Teen: That’s because I brushed my teeth in the shower

Dad: Oh, got it.

•I don’t always know when my kids’ projects are due, but when I do you can bet your &%# it’s tomorrow.

•Yes please get a new cup every time you need a drink of water, I love doing dishes… said no mother ever

•Mom: How come this sweatshirt is in the dirty clothes again?

Teen: I wore it after school.

Mom: yeah for a few hours inside

Teen: Are we that poor, I can’t wear a different hoodie tomorrow?

Growing up, my mom used to say that she was okay with the fact that I didn’t like her sometimes, and I never truly understood it until I became the parents of teenagers.

•My daughter: Can I go to my friend’s house?

Mom: Take your phone and text me every 20 minutes to tell me you’re okay

Mom at 10 years old: I’m off to the abandoned quarry with my pals.

Her Mom: Dinner’s at 5.

•Definitely have kids because adulting isn’t hard enough already and free time is stupid.