As parents, we think we know our children better than anyone.
I believe that to be true, especially at my kids’ ages of 9 and 8 years old, respectively, but I’ve learned something recently. We can’t diminish how well our children actually know us as parents.
As aloof as they may appear at times with mundane daily activities, oftentimes appearing as if they have a permanent case of the “I forgot” syndrome, they can equally appear perceptive.
I recently got some disappointing news during a game of Monopoly we were playing together at home as a family. It was nothing earth shattering on a personal level. It was involving a professional matter.
After I got off the phone, I was a bit distant because my mind was racing, but I was doing my best to be engaged in the game. Easier said than done and Beckett was on to me, peppering me with questions and giving me a line that Pam and I often use on him when we know he’s not telling us something. “You can tell us anything,” is a line we often use with our children. I’m sure many other families have something along those lines they say to children as well.
There are times with our kids when we can’t share what’s on our minds. It’s an inconsistency that’s unfair to them because we want to know what ails them when they are distraught but sometimes can’t share what’s bothering us under the same conditions.
Because I was mentally removed from the game, I didn’t catch on to something hilarious that had played out in the game. That led Beckett to later say to me, “something must really bothering you, you’re the one who always laughs at me.” He then told me about the importance of having a sense of humor. I couldn’t help but smile and appreciate his candor.
The comment was enough to snap me out of my funk because it reminded me what was important. I needed to be present and not distracted by something that was out of my control.
Years from now I’m not going to remember whatever it was that bothered me on this random Saturday afternoon, but I will fondly look back on giggle sessions over something silly my son did during a Monopoly game.
Another example how intuitive our children are when it comes to their parents came after a recent soccer practice when Beckett gave a terrible effort. We are told as parents to not talk about the sport immediately after their game or practice, especially not to point out negatives. It’s not our role as parents. It’s important to have a separation so the kids continue to have fun and not feel stressed over it. We are encouraged to be supportive and not overbearing sports parents. I try hard to adhere to that methodology.
On this particular ride home from practice, I was having a difficult time not expressing my disappointment in the fact he was sleepwalking on the field and showing pitiful effort. He asked me a couple times why I was so quiet and I gave him a bland answer.
Later, interrupting him in the shower while he was singing his songs from his after-school music club, I poked my head into the bathroom to make sure all was good. He asked me to stay in the room so we could talk. He proceeded to tell me that he knew why I was quiet on the way home and assured he would do better. He knows it bothers me whenever he doesn’t give something his entire effort and focus. He explained that he was cold and told me about something that had happened earlier in the practice that got in his head.
That showed a lot of maturation on his part. I didn’t have to tell him why I was upset. He figured it out on his own and even offered an assurance that it was not going to happen again.
At that very moment, I thought maybe, just maybe, we are doing something right on this parenting adventure.
Watching Carson in a toy store is fun.
For his birthday, he received a couple gift certificates to World of Toys in Berlin. Since he had spent much of the day on the sidelines of his brother’s soccer games, I added a few dollars to it so he could have a shopping spree at his favorite store. As he would pick items out, I would remind him of his balance.
It was interesting to watch him struggle over his choices and working within the chosen dollar amount. He was actually much more concerned about staying on budget than I was.
We spent about 30 minutes in the store and handled probably 20 items for consideration before it was time to go so he could go home and play with his new items, a majority of which were trains and train tracks for his train garden at home.
As we were checking out, however, Carson kept finding items he liked and was placing them on the counter. Since they were small, I figured it was fine.
The next thing I know we spent double his gift cards’ value. When I told him that as we walked home on Main Street, he shrugged his shoulders, signed play and pulled my hand hard to hurry home I assumed.
Instead, he was guiding me to the nearby bank machine.
