Adventures Of Fatherhood – August 11, 2017

Adventures Of Fatherhood – August 11, 2017
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Never have I felt older than last Sunday night at the Boardwalk amusement parks.

Over the last several years, I have noticed amusement rides — especially those of the Tilt-A-Whirl and spinning variety — have been leaving me wrecked when I get off. I get dizzy and nauseous and any other adjective that describes feeling uncomfortable and awkward.

On Sunday, after a nice beach day, we headed to the Boardwalk for dinner. Concerned about how I had been feeling after rides recently, I thought it was best if we left eating to after the rides. That surely pleased the kids because food is not a priority to them when amusements are in the picture.

Our first stop was Trimpers Rides and the Matterhorn. I have been on that ride and the nearby Himalaya probably 100 times in my life. In fact, as a kid, my friends and I would just ride this over and over again particularly if the ride operator was playing good songs and accepting requests. It never gave me any issues at all.

On Sunday, one ride was plenty and probably one time too much. I almost immediately became nauseous. Because of how I was feeling, I worried about Carson, who I was riding with. The huge smile on his face coupled with the screams of delight from Beckett and Pam nearby confirmed I was alone in my misery. As the ride slowed after a bit, I was hopeful it was over but I knew it wasn’t. Sure enough the operator said something along the lines of “and now it’s time to go backwards.” I evidently said what I was feeling (“oh that’s just great”) because Carson laughed hysterically and started pointing at my now-green face.

After that ride, I took in every breath of fresh air because Beckett wanted to hit the Tidal Wave next. As we approached, he had second thoughts and we opted instead for a ride I don’t know the name of, but to me it’s a combination of a Ferris wheel and the Zipper. The biggest thrill on this ride is the constant spinning and flipping backwards. Beckett was a little scared at first and I was nauseous. I talked to him the whole time and encouraged him to keep his eyes open because closing them makes it worse. I might as well been talking to myself to keep my mind off my own discomfort.

Next I took a break to try and locate my bearings while Beckett and Carson rode some kiddie rides before we headed over to Jolly Roger at the Pier.

First up was the Looping Star Roller Coaster, which sends occupants upside down at high speeds. On a field trip earlier this summer, Beckett said he rode it “17 times” so I knew it was going to be in the mix. Once we found Carson couldn’t ride it without an adult, I knew I would be joining in. Three rides later, I was back to my same nauseous and dizzy self.

As I stumbled off that ride with Pam taking lots of pictures, the kids ran off unfazed to the Hurricane, a high-speed ride that goes around in a circle in a similar fashion to the Matterhorn and Himalaya at Trimper’s. Pam knew from my face I wasn’t going to be able to jump right on that ride with them so she volunteered as I took a seat nearby. I’m not sure I have ever loved her more. That was until I saw all the close-up pictures and videos she took on my phone of my agony while laughing hysterically.

Sensing I had recovered, Beckett took me to our next stop, which he wasn’t allowed to ride during his recent field trip. It’s called the Power Surge. Although I may have in years past, on this particular evening, I never saw it in action. This is an intimidating thrill ride and two other guests we were with decided to get off the ride before it started. We did not. It was a decision Beckett regretted within minutes, as we hurdled through the air upside down and backwards and forwards and all sorts of craziness. Throughout it, he was yelling for the ride to stop. I assured him everything was okay and told him how much fun it was. I was lying.

As I stumbled off that ride, he led me to the Slingshot, which I quickly refused, before we went to the Kracken, which was my speed. As we bounced up and down repeatedly, it was impossible not to giggle over the repeated motions, as I sat between my 7- and 9-year-olds.

By the time all was said and done, I was a sweaty mess. I didn’t even realize how ridiculous I was until we were standing in line for Thrasher’s and I had a moment to collect myself.

Later, I researched what’s the culprit for this sudden intolerance for high-speed, spinning rides. My only contact previously with this whole concept came from ABC’s show “Modern Family,” when Phil Dunphy, the dad, discovers a newfound problem with rides and an inability to keep up with his young son at an amusement park.

Evidently the culprit is motion sickness caused by the inner ear’s inability to quickly adjust to the movements of the ride. The resulting feelings include nausea, dizziness, clamminess, vomiting and discomfort

In my case, check all those off the list, with the exception being vomiting, which I feel fortunate to have avoided. I can only hope that’s the case later this summer when we hit Busch Gardens.

About The Author: Steven Green

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The writer has been with The Dispatch in various capacities since 1995, including serving as editor and publisher since 2004. His previous titles were managing editor, staff writer, sports editor, sales account manager and copy editor. Growing up in Salisbury before moving to Berlin, Green graduated from Worcester Preparatory School in 1993 and graduated from Loyola University Baltimore in 1997 with degrees in Communications (journalism concentration) and Political Science.