At their young age, the boys don’t seem to be big city folks.
That’s their conclusion after spending the weekend in Philadelphia for a family wedding.
There were certain elements of city life that were eye-opening for both kids. There were times when both were rattled by the sights of many homeless people sleeping on the streets, the volume of traffic, the random vehicle horns in the distance, the crowds and the general filth.
The biggest obstacle Carson had with city life was he kept picking up trash blowing around the streets. It was difficult for him to understand that in this case it’s best just to leave the trash alone, particularly when he’s all dressed up for a rehearsal dinner or if trash is strewn across a street amid traffic.
For Beckett, while he seemed to like the vistas of the tall buildings from our hotel, the sheer volume of people gave him sensory overload. That was on full display in the Reading Market on a busy Sunday morning. He was overwhelmed by how busy the place was (not to mention the massive varieties of raw meat) and the hectic pace that surrounded him.
That’s why with a glut of options around him for breakfast he settled on a piece of naan bread before responding, “I just want to go home,” when asked what was wrong.
The chaotic scene was not lost on Carson, who kept a death grip on his mom’s hand while we strolled through the market. What was heaven to us — diverse sights and sounds not common here — was torturous for them.
As we left the city, quite a bit of time was taken responding to Beckett’s questions about how people become homeless. His final conclusion from our big city weekend was he never wanted to be homeless. That seems reasonable to me.
Poignant quotes come from unexpected sources every now and again.
During last month’s speech at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony, Pearl Jam frontman Eddie Vedder acknowledged his wife and children and the inspiration they have had on his life.
When he singled out his daughters, who looked to be in their upper teens, he said, “I taught them everything I know and they taught me the rest.”
That’s amazing line.
As parents, we are charged with teaching our children with many things, including how to be respectful and honorable members of the community. In our case with our boys, 8 and 7 years old, respectively, it’s a work in progress, but something that’s part of everyday life. There are countless teachable moments every day about banal things that we as parents don’t think twice about.
However, Vedder was being quite intuitive when he said, “and they taught me the rest.”
I learn something from my children each day. From me they might learn a new word, historical fact, sports knowledge, how to interact with someone unpleasant at a grocery store and why treating people with respect is important. However, what my kids teach and show me is on a deeper spiritual level. That’s what I believe Vedder was referring to in his speech.
My boys expose my weaknesses on a daily basis and make me a better person consequently. For one thing, I know I have become a much more focused, patient person as a result of raising my children. I don’t worry about what I can’t control, like the weather or outside business influences. There’s too much to focus on that’s within our reach to waste energy on matters out of scope.
Most of all my kids remind me to live in the now. Carpe diem was always an expression I knew about and methodology I envied, but parenthood has made it a mantra at our house. We are so busy with work and the kids we have no other choice but to live day to day, sometimes hour to hour. Prior to being a parent, it was a goal and wise words to live by. Today it’s just our reality. We do indeed live for the day.
There are circumspective times when photos conjure thoughts of how the years seem to be flying by like weeks and then there are days and weeks that seem like months and years.
My children have also taught me to temper my expectations at times. That’s a challenging one for me because I do have high expectations for both my children. They remind on a daily basis to be realistic, however. “Baltimore wasn’t built in a day,” Beckett reminded me after Carson had a tough day at school.
Although he changes the city each time he says it, that’s now Beckett’s favorite expression. An example to illustrate the point was recently when he came home with a B on his math test. He reminded me that he’s a third grade student doing fourth grade math work. I told him I understood that. He then said something that hit me. “I’m not perfect, I’m going to make mistakes. Ocean City wasn’t built in a day,” he said.
I told him I understood that, but pulled out his test showing where he didn’t answer two of the questions because he was in such a hurry to finish his test so he didn’t miss recess. I didn’t expect him to be perfect, but I do require him to at least slow down and give 100% to everything he does.
He showed his maturity by agreeing I had a valid point before rattling off a couple other cities with his new favorite expression.
