Fatherhood Adventures – December 9, 2016

Fatherhood Adventures – December 9, 2016
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I’m embarrassed to admit I have never read, “Charlotte’s Web.”

But I have had the opportunity this school year to read it along with Beckett, who is in third grade. One of the messages throughout the book is that of true friendship and loyalty.

We have talked to him about it several times and there were times when I wondered if he was getting it or not. After several situations of late, I know full well he’s understanding the premise of the book.

Beckett will defend his friends to the end and a couple of times we have even caught him twisting the truth to ensure a friend does not get in trouble.

For example, Beckett has a neighborhood friend who seems to enjoy wrecking things. After he and a few friends were playing in the backyard recently, I went back to see that everything was put away. Of course, it was not, and there dozens of ball strewn about the yard. I expected that, but what really aggravated me was how the soccer goal was flipped over, posts were missing and the net was ripped.

At this point, I sought out my son. I knew he wouldn’t have done that because he loves playing soccer and values that goal. When I asked Beckett if his friend had done that, he said he did not. When I went through the names of his friends he was hanging with, he said no to all them. Clearly, he was trying to protect them so they wouldn’t get in trouble.

When he finally admitted who did it, he made all sorts of excuses for the boy as to why he did it, such as he just got carried away because it’s the weekend and once he starts something he can’t stop. He’s like Carson that way, he said, bringing his brother into the situation for no reason.

At one point, rather than me address the matter with the boy or his parents, he said, “I make a motion.” He said let’s just handle it ourselves and go out and put it back together and buy a new net. He actually said lets buy a couple nets in case the boy gets out of control again.

I admired his willingness to defend and protect his friends. Later, during some quiet time, I told him he was being a good friend trying to protect his buddy, just like Charlotte was to Wilbur throughout the book.

“Friends have to have your back, no matter if you’re a pig or a spider,” he said.

I’m sure I will never forget that line.

Now we are hoping we can grow this kindness to his friends to his little brother.

For about the last month, sleep has been tough to come by at the house.

Beckett sleeps like a rock and clearly shares his parents’ affinity for it. While he likes to push the limits as far as his bedtime during the week, he’s a great sleeper and can sleep through anything.

Carson, on the other hand, has us in a sleep pattern currently that’s worse than the newborn phase in my opinion.

With a newborn, there’s no such thing as an uninterrupted night’s sleep for parents. It’s expected. The good thing is it’s usually facile to figure out why the baby is up and most of the time once those needs are met it’s back to sleep.

With Carson, 7, it’s not always so simple of late. For the most part, he’s been a solid sleeper, but we’ve had a tough run of it the last six weeks.

Over the course of the last couple months, according to my FitBit sleep tracker, I have been up and out of bed multiple times and averaging about an hour of “awake/restless” time every night.

It might not be the reality, but each night he wakes up in the middle of the night there seems to be a different reason.

Oftentimes it’s to use the bathroom and for some reason he feels the need to announce it by turning our bedroom lights on and off or insisting one of us join him. The latter is probably due to the couple weeks when there were scary skeletons and bloody goblins in the bathroom waiting to be carried to the attic.

Other times he just wants to jump in our bed with us, resulting in one of us walking him back to his room or, in weak moments, letting him jump in with us. If we do let him elope to our bed, Pam or I usually end up in his room because he’s prone to kicking and lots of turning over.

One night this week, he was up multiple times because of nature’s calling of the longer variety. Pam was up with him at 11:30, 1, 3 and then again at 5. After the last one, he never did go back to bed, resulting in a terrible night’s sleep for both of them.

A couple nights recently, there’s really been no reason why he was up. One night he stood at the end of the bed holding three different sized Mickey Mouse stuffed animals with hunched shoulders. It was as if he’d just discovered them and he wanted to show them off. Another night I woke up to him pushing me over into the middle of the bed so he could sleep where I was. Seeking a full night’s sleep, I just went along with it and became his kicking buddy for the night.

This too shall pass. Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself.

About The Author: Steven Green

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The writer has been with The Dispatch in various capacities since 1995, including serving as editor and publisher since 2004. His previous titles were managing editor, staff writer, sports editor, sales account manager and copy editor. Growing up in Salisbury before moving to Berlin, Green graduated from Worcester Preparatory School in 1993 and graduated from Loyola University Baltimore in 1997 with degrees in Communications (journalism concentration) and Political Science.