Adventures Of Fatherhood

Adventures Of Fatherhood
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The absurdity surrounding Easter makes me laugh each year.

There we were on Sunday morning with all too much Easter grass strewn about and way too many eggs across the table. All the while we were reminding the kids as they dug their baskets they could only have a couple pieces of candy before church. As the words came out at a little past 7 in the morning, it was difficult to keep a straight face because it was obvious we were being unfair.

One by one Beckett and Carson opened their eggs and piled up their candy loot. I quickly noticed Beckett’s pile was not as high as Carson’s and knew something was awry. Soon enough, candy started falling out of his pajama bottoms and his little plan to sneak some treats was foiled.

By the time church rolled around at 9 in the morning, I’m not sure how much candy the kids had taken in because of their deception, but I’m certain of one thing — it was more than the two pieces each we authorized.

There’s no question they got some by me while we waited for church. What’s also clear is they were not nearly as clandestine as they thought they were being.

For instance, Beckett has a bad habit of not throwing his trash away ever, so the evidence was obvious. For his part, Carson oftentimes does not wipe his mouth during or after eating and therefore the detective work was simple.

Despite having a chocolate injection with their breakfast, the boys did great in church. They were actually better than they usually are at sitting in the pews, making me wonder if we should give them some candy more often or at least hold it over their heads as a reward for listening to us and staying calm during the service.

After church, they participated in what seemed like their 10th Easter egg hunt of the month. Of course, more candy was for the offering there. We then made the kids sit at a family brunch for an hour. We then made them sit in the car for 30 minutes as we visited family in Salisbury, including stops at HealthSouth rehabilitation center as well as Deer’s Head to see grandparents. Add in there another family visit in Salisbury and there’s no question we set some unrealistic expectations for the boys.

While there were certainly blips along the way, they were impressive. Time, of course, has a way of brightening things. When we got home and back to the Easter baskets, we let them dig into the candy from the Easter bunny.

Surprisingly, all Beckett wanted was a blue blow pop, which left us scrubbing his mouth and face for a couple days afterwards. It was just another great Easter.

Carson made a great humpty dumpy during Nursery Rhyme Day at school last week.

Leading up to it, I was nervous for our pre-kindergartener and worried he might get a case of the nerves presenting his nursery rhyme to the entire class and parents. It turns out that is what took place but I was still proud of him.

Because of his speech disability, he was not able to articulate his nursery rhyme like his classmates, but he was able to use his iPad to say it. Pam had him all decked out in a cute costume and even fabricated a brick wall with fake legs affixed to it.

The first time Carson was called he refused to use the prop and was too nervous to stand in front of the class, burying his head and standing behind his mom. When given another chance later, the nerves again got him but he did stay in front of the class while the iPad, or “his voice” as we call it, recited the nursery rhyme.

It may not have gone as planned or hoped, but I captured the memory to show he looked the part.

Sometimes it just feels good to know there is company on this crazy parenting journey.

That’s what I was thinking when I told my wife to look around while at the movie theaters the other day.

We were in Rehoboth at a 7th birthday party for one of Beckett’s classmates. It was held at the movie theater there and the major part of it was a showing of the movie, Home. As the movie progressed and the kids settled in, I kept dozing off.

This is nothing new for me because these days whenever I am left alone with nothing to do for more than a few minutes I find my eyelids getting heavy. That was the case in the dentist chair on Monday morning as I waited to be seen. It was less than five minutes but all of a sudden I was down and out.

At the birthday movie, I felt silly feeling so tired considering it was 2 p.m. but then I looked around. In our row alone, there were two parents asleep with their kids in between them attentively watching the movie and eating popcorn. As I pointed this out to Pam, she had the look that she was close as well. I have to admit looking around seeing those parents asleep made me feel good. It was great to know others find this parenting adventure exhausting.

Later, I took an informal poll of the parents in attendance, and more had fallen asleep than not. Apparently my newfound narcoleptic tendencies are shared by others.