Adventures Of Fatherhood

Adventures Of Fatherhood
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To me, nothing beats laughing, and my kids provide an endless supply of it.

As my boys mature, relatively speaking, and become more sophisticated, again relatively speaking, their personalities are changing and it’s been fun to watch them develop.

From my perspective, my sons are at their funniest when they are not trying to be. Actually, when they try to be by throwing food at each other at the dinner table, for example, or doing silly things that are just annoying, they are anything but funny to me. I appreciate the candid moments when they are just being themselves. That’s oftentimes enough to get a great laugh from me.

Some examples to illustrate the point:——————————–

Carson has no idea he is being funny when he runs (more like skips) through the house with his hands under his armpits making a flying motion.

Like most things, he will not do it if it’s requested. It has to be spontaneous to him. If you ask him to do it, he just violently shakes his head, “no” and smiles, as if he knows it’s irritating.

Rather than flying, what he ends up looking like is a clumsy little boy walking the tight rope. That I find hilarious.


I never thought the nativity scene under the tree would be the source of so many giggles, but it has been this year.

Pam was refreshing Beckett’s memory the other night of the significance of the nativity scene, reminding him about Mary, Joseph, the wise men, the angels, and, of course, baby Jesus needed no refresher.

Apparently Beckett was paying close attention because he has been doing some serious role playing of late.

For the last few mornings, Pam and I have been awoken to Beckett in our bed acting as the baby Jesus lying in a manger.

I woke up Saturday morning nose-to-nose with Beckett, who had managed to wrap himself tightly in our sheets. Apparently, he had been staring at me waiting for me to wake up because as soon as I opened my eyes he said, “Good morning Joseph”.

I couldn’t help but laugh even if it was before 6 in the morning. I gave him a kiss on the forehead, mumbled something to him about being a good baby Jesus and then asked him, “Where’s your mother, Mary?”
He then rolled over and did the same thing to Pam, or Mary I mean.

Carson loves his backpack.

The funny thing is he prefers to wear it backwards or upside down, though, and gets a little hot under the collar when it’s tried to put on the proper way.

When I tried to put it on him correctly, my non-verbal son nearly took me out with a violent string of headshakes in a no fashion and he ran away faster than I have ever seen.

As he was getting away with vigor, he knocked himself over while shaking his head “no.” I think he might have gotten dizzy actually.

Beckett and I both got a huge laugh out of that, but even more so when Carson stood up, threw his book bag to the floor and put it on the right way. He then laughed in a “oh yeah” manner and shook his yes. I guess he learned a lesson.


Beckett tries to negotiate everything. That’s why he often says something along the lines of, “I understand that, but let’s talk about it.”

The most recent example involves candy. As soon as we got home the other night from school and work, he wanted some of the candy he brought home. I said what I always say — after you eat your dinner.

That’s when he put on his bargaining hat, saying, “Okay, okay I understand that, but let’s talk about it. How about I get one piece of candy now? I will then eat my dinner and then have a couple more pieces of candy. Then, I will be good during my bath. I think that’s a good idea. How does that sound?”

I said, “dinner then candy,” and he muttered something about me being unfair and not fun.

I couldn’t help but giggle at how his mind was working and how he articulated what he specifically wanted.


Along those lines, the bath tub can be a funny place or an aggravating place for me. It depends on how the kids are behaving.

Sometimes, giving them both baths at the same time can be tremendously frustrating. They bicker over who sits where. They toss water all over each other as well as me. They dump water outside the tub. They are too rough with each other.

The other night there was some of that obnoxious behavior, but some good laughs as well.

For whatever reason, Beckett likes dumping cold water over his head. He squeals in delight, while most of us would scream in shock. Carson is not such a huge fan, and Beckett knows he is not allowed to do that to his little brother.

Again, in pure negotiation mode, Beckett asked if he could dump some water on Carson’s foot, resulting in Carson kicking Beckett square in the rear end with his cold foot.

“Daddy, Carson’s foot is too cold for me,” said Beckett as he wiped from his eyes the frigid water that he had just dumped on himself.


While brushing my teeth Monday morning around 6, Beckett barged into the bathroom and asked, “But why did the Steelers beat the Ravens?” It was as if he just immediately picked up where our conversation ended the night before, albeit 10 hours later.

About The Author: Steven Green

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The writer has been with The Dispatch in various capacities since 1995, including serving as editor and publisher since 2004. His previous titles were managing editor, staff writer, sports editor, sales account manager and copy editor. Growing up in Salisbury before moving to Berlin, Green graduated from Worcester Preparatory School in 1993 and graduated from Loyola University Baltimore in 1997 with degrees in Communications (journalism concentration) and Political Science.