Adventures Of Fatherhood

Adventures Of Fatherhood

Accounting for the kids, and their antics, is a critical thing to keep in mind when buying just about anything these days.

Obviously, that’s the case when grocery shopping, but it goes beyond that to just about all realms of purchasing.

Pam and I have both have learned this after clearly making a few mistakes along the way.
Here are a few examples to illustrate the point:
While shopping for sunglasses at K-Coast Surf Shop last week, I found myself in a confused state.

For one thing, it’s overwhelming because there are hundreds to choose from and I had a difficult time picking between brown and black, not to mention all the various styles available.

Although the high-end glasses caught my eye and probably would have been too much of a temptation to look beyond a few short years ago, my rational side now has a way of taking over based on previous experiences. I guess I’m maturing (or maybe it’s more like aging).

I opted instead for the middle-of-the-road variety because a few years ago I was standing in that same store and went for the high-end variety, only to have my oldest son, who was not even walking at the time, destroy them in short order.

That nice pair lasted just a few weeks as Beckett became fond of tossing them off my head just about any time he made it on to my shoulders or in my arms. I clearly remember having him in the pool and him throwing them across the concrete, resulting in all too many scratches. Soon enough, they were mangled from being thrown on the ground and run over by some sort of ride-along toy.

Those memories came rushing back as I stood in K-Coast last weekend. That’s why I conservatively invested a modest amount in my new shades after squinting through the winter as well as an accessory to keep them around my neck in case of a déjà vu moment with Beckett or Carson.

One day this week, I was driving and Beckett asked in his most pleasant of voices if he could try on my sunglasses. What he actually wanted was to switch his with mine. I was quick to dismiss that, as I have learned that’s never a wise move.

It was interesting to look later at his sunglasses and observe there was not one scratch on them. Apparently, he does have respect for his own things.

Never would I have imagined how much heartburn an ottoman on wheels could give me.

About a year ago, we invested in some new living room furniture. It’s a large sectional that I love collapsing into at the end of the day.

No complaints about it one year later, except for the fact whoever thought it was a good idea to put an ottoman on wheels obviously did not have kids.

For us, this ottoman has been the subject of a lot of anxiety around the house. And yes I have threatened to throw it in the front yard a few times.

The kids love to maneuver it just far enough away from the couch to provide them with a nice launching pad. They also push it across the room and use it as a stool to get to items that were believed safe.

Most recently, their latest plan for it involves Beckett standing on it while Carson pushing it around the room. That has yet to come to fruition.

I don’t know if it’s the fact it’s fun to play with that keeps them so enthralled or that they know it drives their parents crazy. It’s probably a lot of both.


Fortunately, Pam handles just about every purchase of clothes and shoes for the kids. She is much better at it, perhaps from her years of shopping experience (yikes).

Rarely do I chime in on anything because this is her department, but one thing I think we should probably never buy again for the kids until they get older is anything white.

Toddlers in white shirts are a regrettable nightmare waiting to happen. It’s inevitable that those white shirts will soon get a spattering of something or other, whether it’s juice, dirt, slobber, crayon or any of the other things kids play with, and it almost always requires a change of clothes.

At least with shirts that are colored, it’s not quite as noticeable. I have even found that to be the case when it comes to white socks.

And don’t even get me started on how ridiculous the concept of white pants is for toddlers.
When it came time to look for a new vehicle, a mini-van with a leather interior was a no brainer.

Selecting which to go with was another story, as there are dozens of makes and models to choose from these days.  

It’s been about a year now, and clearly trading in my beloved 4Runner, the last bastion of my single life besides my dogs, for the luxury and convenience of our “family trickster” (we went with the Chrysler Town & Country, by the way) was the right call.

That’s what I was thinking the other day while the boys and I were sitting in the car watching Dora and Diego team up to rescue the baby marsupial. Pam was making a quick stop at the grocery store for us.

If it weren’t for the DVD system and all the bells and whistles that came with it to keep them content and entertained, that wait may have been unbearable for us all.

About The Author: Steven Green

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The writer has been with The Dispatch in various capacities since 1995, including serving as editor and publisher since 2004. His previous titles were managing editor, staff writer, sports editor, sales account manager and copy editor. Growing up in Salisbury before moving to Berlin, Green graduated from Worcester Preparatory School in 1993 and graduated from Loyola University Baltimore in 1997 with degrees in Communications (journalism concentration) and Political Science.