My Thoughts

My Thoughts

The old guy browsed through the mall bookstore the other day and was shocked to see people actually paying $16 and $25 for hardback books, even $10 for pocket editions and $5 for audio versions. One guy bought three of the same book, Obama’s biography, saying to the clerk the editions would be worth something sometime. Insider questioned to himself that logic since there were hundreds of them resting on the shelves behind the idiot as he spoke.

Haven’t these people ever heard of libraries? How can anyone justify paying that much for a mere book? Is it the “I must be the first to read it” mentality? Is it some kind of self-gratification? Self-punishment? Are these the same people who rush to fight and claw for the latest video releases, little caring that the same movie will be gathering dust on the shelf in three or four weeks? The old guy is a dedicated reader, and any local library could satisfy his needs for the rest of his life. To him, a book is not good because it’s new, nor bad because it’s old.

It’s one thing to start a library in your house. Insider admires that. He can tell a lot by a person by examining the books on his shelf. Any good home library must have old books on it, not the latest and greatest Grisham yarn. It needs to have the favorites of yesteryear and has to include at least one Sherlock Holmes piece.

Some young fart named George Ralph sent the old guy a copy of some witty comments submitted by someone along the way. It came with a personal message, “For The Old Guy-thought you might enjoy this.” Most of all, Insider liked that it was addressed to “Insider’s Coast Dispatch.”

— I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently, you have to show up.

— If God meant us to touch our toes, he would put them further up our body.

— I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

— If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

— The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

— I don’t jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

— I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

— I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.

— Furniture Disease is when you reach that stage in life when your chest starts sliding down into your drawers.