The old guy is always late. He likes it that way. He likes the idea of people waiting around for him. It makes him feel important, and the guys of the Monday Morning Coffee Club understand that. There they were huddled about a table in the back of the favored local gas station. They all turned to find Insider with an unusual look this early in the morning – he was smiling. The early mornings are not the old guy’s best times and he usually is not out in public because his aches and pains are too much to bear. But once a month he meets up with the old farts from the neighborhood for some coffee. Having already gone through a pot of high-test at home, Insider followed his doctor’s instructions and went with the decaf pot conveniently marked with an orange handle. Actually the doctor said no more caffeine, but that’s unrealistic and never going to happen. So the old guy is trying to wean himself off some, cutting back from multiple pots of the good stuff to one and then decaf the rest of the day.
Today there were only four old-timers gathered around the rickety old table. The others had doctors appointments, honey-do lists to tend to or get a blood test done. When Insider joined them at the table, he told them about something that happened on the way in the old DeSoto. It was something he thought would never happen. Insider drives 55 mph, always has because that’s what the signs say. In the rearview mirror was some young-timer with a cell phone stuck in his ear and baseball cap on backwards driving right on the DeSoto’s bumper. So close Insider could not see the front of his car. It was that close and the old guy was getting uncomfortable. So he slowed his speed down to 50 mph to be safe.
This young timer would not pass the old guy, despite having the entire left-hand lane to utilize. This makes Insider angry and all of the old-timers at the table nodded in unison to give the appearance they were listening and interested in the old guy’s story. After about two miles of bumper-to-bumper action, a brown-and-black pulls up and observes it, turns on those flashing lights and sirens. The last Insider sees of the punk he’s dropping his cell phone and shuffling about while pulling over to the side of the road. That put Insider in such a good mood, he said something he had never said before, “let the old guy get the next round of coffee.”