My Thoughts

What will you be doing on New Year’s Eve? The old guy will be doing the same thing he has done for the last few years. Since he no longer drinks or does drugs, the only way he knows to celebrate is to eat. So he will have his big carton of Vanilla bean Breyer’s ice cream and some Hershey’s syrup and watch the Times Square ball drop. He will stay up at least one hour after he has finished off his ice cream so his tummy does not ache all night. That usually means he will be up past 2 a.m. thinking about those crazy people walking the streets of New York City all night.

Breyer’s is the Insider’s favorite ice cream. The folks at Chesapeake Bay Farms do a nice job, but the old guy is queer over Breyer’s. He likes Vanilla bean and Vanilla Fudge Twirl. Those are his favorites, but there’s no bad flavor for the old guy. When Insider first picks up this newspaper, he always flips straight to the circulars inside and looks for the discounts and specials, particularly the coveted two-for-one Breyer’s deal. It’s those colorful circulars, then this eloquent column, the wordy editorial pages and then back to the stories on the front page. It seems about once a month either Food Lion or Superfresh will run the ice cream special. When that happens, there’s a mad dash to the stores by local folks, particularly the seniors, and the ice cream lockers are hit hard. Insider immediately heads straight to the store and buys a half dozen or so cartons of Vanilla bean and the Twirl. A couple go in his kitchen freezer and the rest go in the basement freezer. That’s usually enough to last him until the next special runs. To those who have never had it, Insider recommends a Vanilla bean/Vanilla Fudge Twirl milkshake. The old guy goes heavy on the ice cream and light on the ice and milk. That way it’s nice and creamy.

Things The Old Guy Dislikes: infidelity; bratty kids; cookies with nuts in them; brownies with nuts in them; cake with nuts in it; stepping in dog poop; infestation; rude service men; when the dryer does not do what it’s supposed to do; excuses that are more like lies; getting bills in the mail; mortgage interest rates; new car commercials; rap music; Nancy Grace; and food that is tart.