Adventures Of Fatherhood

Adventures Of Fatherhood
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Although they are now 7 and 6 years old, respectively, every now and again the kids still like to take baths together.

While we were on vacation in January, I even joined them because the house had a big Jacuzzi tub but quickly realized that would be my last foray into a bath with them. To me, baths or soaks should be relaxing and enjoyable. Playing referee to crazy and rough kids was anything but that.

Around our house, we are in a transition phase from baths to showers. While he favors a bath, Beckett, 7, takes more showers these days than he ever has in the past and I’m trying to encourage him to continue on that path. For one, they are a lot quicker and it’s easier to teach him about proper hygiene stuff when there are no balls and whatever else floating around in the tub.

After giving him a few minutes to shower by himself, Pam or me always come back in and check on him. The other night I poked my head in the door and asked him how he was doing. He responded, “incoming,” and launched a miniature football my way. He then said, “I bet you can’t make it in the shower from there.” Never one to shy away from a taunt, I showed him I could, or at least would try in reality, touching off a game of catch for a few minutes, leading me to wonder whether a shower was actually faster than a bath and how he even found this ball in the first place.

With Carson, 6, baths are still his thing. He has showered a few times inside and loves taking them outside when the weather is nice. He likes company during his baths and every once in a while we let Beckett join him.

It has to be the right time, however, because it can be quite unnerving presiding over both of them in the tub. There’s a lot of silly, immature boy antics at play, and I often find myself trying to keep everything G-rated and both of them safe.

Even I have to laugh sometimes when I try and be strict and tell them we can do double baths so long as there is no funny business and I want everyone keeping their hands to themselves.

Amid cries of “no fair” and “why,” I can’t even keep a straight face because I know how that’s an impossibility.

There are many aspects of education life that worry us with our non-verbal child.

Carson’s future is a huge concern because of the uncertainties that surround his disabilities, most notably his lack of speech. He may never speak so we have to prepare for a life without it and provide him with the tools to be successful without that ability that we all take for granted.

With so many questions always present and looming, we have found the only way to navigate through life in a healthy, productive and happy fashion is to take everything as it comes on day-to-day fashion. I think that’s a valuable approach for everyone, but it’s particularly so when the unknown is the reality.

School has and probably always will be a major concern and challenge for Carson. How will his teachers educate and evaluate our non-verbal child? Carson is smart and receptively on par with his classmates, but clearly his inability to speak is a huge hurdle.

Although he has a tablet device that can serve as his voice, there are practical limitations to it in everyday life. The challenge moving forward will be functioning with it in school and daily life.

A hurdle of late that we have been focusing on involves determining how well he can read. It’s no longer a matter of if Carson can read because we know he can. It’s gauging how well he can that raises lots of challenges.

We know that by the end of his kindergarten year he should be reading, at least on a basic level. With that goal in mind, what I have been doing in recent months is reading to him and having him follow along with his fingers. Once or twice a sentence, I use the wrong word to see if he notices.

For instance, in Dr. Suess’s “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!,” my favorite children’s book, instead of reading the line as “There are points to be scored, and games to be won,” I would say, “There are points to be missed and games to be lost.” Or, instead “You’re off to great places, Today is your day!,” I will say, “I’m off to cold places, Tomorrow is my week.”

He always picks up on the wrong words being used and it’s a great indication to me he can differentiate between words. The only issue with this practice is his way of letting me know when I’m wrong. It usually involves knocking me around a bit and showing me with his finger where the word was wrong.

One time the other night in bed I was reading to him and making all sorts of mistakes without getting corrected. I quickly realized he was fast asleep and decided to join him.