Every now and again I shock myself with what I say to my kids, thinking how I never imagined speaking these phrases prior to becoming a dad.
There are times when my boys bring out the worst in me. Fortunately, most of the time that’s not the case, but there are ups and down with raising kids. The joys far outnumber the lows, but the fact is children can be challenging.
In what’s becoming a regular piece in this ongoing series of parent ramblings, here’s the latest handful of bizarre comments I have made of late that afterwards left me scratching my head and on some occasions brought about a case of serious parental guilt.
“Please, please stop talking.”
With Carson, 5, being non-verbal, it would seem safe assumption that we might have a quieter home than most with two kids. Beckett, 6, seems fixated on making sure that’s not accurate. Although potentially a case of parent overthinking, it occurs to me he has a burning desire to fill whatever void he may perceive through incessant babbling about irrelevant matters.
Beckett is chatty and it’s usually a positive because he keeps us laughing through how he expresses his witty take on things and his keen 6-year-old boy observations. He’s a bright kid with a growing vocabulary and intuitive personality.
However, there are times when a little peace and quiet is necessary before they are in bed at the end of the day and the constant play-by-play can be bothersome. One of those occasions on a frequent basis is in the car, particularly when Pam and I are discussing something.
He cannot stand when she and I are talking and he can’t hear what we are discussing. That usually results in repeated calls for mommy and daddy about this or that, usually nonsense that brings about the desperate plea for him to close his mouth for a couple minutes.
“Remember no more blindsiding.”
Nobody in the family currently trusts Carson and we have learned to expect the unexpected at this stage in his life because he has proven prone to random physical weirdness.
That’s why when he walks up to us with anything in his hands we are on our toes and in preparation mode. I don’t think he means to do tremendous harm to anyone, but for some strange reason, probably sensory issues, he sometimes feels the need to swing at us.
We saw a lot of these random acts of hitting and swinging on the beach over the summer, and I took some serious right and left hand jabs to the head from him on my shoulders in the ocean. He invariably cries after realizing that hurt me with his haymakers, but it’s too late.
A couple weekends ago, I left the boys playing in the backyard for a minute while I ran to another part of the yard to do something. I turned to both of them and reminded them to play nice and keep their hands off each other while I was over there. Carson giggled, confirming to me what I already knew — that was not happening.
When I turned back, he immediately looked like he was up to no good. I reminded him about the blindsiding and he found that extremely funny. I never could have imagined having to remind my kid not to do such a thing, but it’s the case sometimes.
“There’s nothing wrong with getting a ‘B’.”
When Beckett expressed extreme disappointment over getting a B on a recent test for leaving off the period on a sentence, it was tread lightly time.
On one hand, high expectations are to be embraced and encouraged. It’s fine to be disappointed and learn from it, but it’s another thing to be too harsh on himself and overreact in a negative way.
The drama led me to say, “There’s nothing wrong with getting a ‘B’” and explained in that particular case it was due to being sloppy and not checking over his work.
Later he slapped me with a “B” grade for his dinner. I didn’t like it too much either.
“I’m going to treat you the way you treat me.”
Nothing bothers me more these days than getting sass and disrespect from my 6-year-old. Unfortunately, it’s been happening more and more lately, particularly after school, and we want to nip it in the bud.
The problem is I don’t think I always handle it in the most appropriate way. Lately, I have been letting Beckett know I will treat him how he treats me. If he disrespects me, he’s going to get it back. If he is mean or rude, that’s what he’s getting back.
Not sure if it’s the healthiest way to hand le it, but it can be fruitful so I’m sticking with it for now.
“Nobody likes a bully goat.”
A statement straight from the “Llama, Llama” children’s book series. One of the books touched on the animals at play in a day care type setting and there was one animal — a goat — who was ridiculing others and not playing nicely.
For some reason, both my kids respond to it and that’s certainly a phrase I never imagined saying.