My Thoughts

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The mice have been real bad around Insider’s house this year. On more than one occasion, the old guy has spotted the critters darting across the kitchen floor into the pantry, which has to be like an all-you-can-eat buffet for these mice. The freeloaders have been living in the Insider’s house for the last few weeks and leaving behind droppings of poop wherever they go. The dog seems to like cleaning up after them. Insider even found some poop in his sock drawer. That’s what sent the old guy to the hardware store the other day where he learned this year has been a record-setting year for the mice. Apparently Adkins is having a hard time keeping the traps, poison and stuff on the shelves. Demand is running higher than usual it seems.

Insider has always tried to avoid killing the critters. He loves animals, but there comes a time with they just have to go. The old guy would prefer they leave on their own accord (alive), but there are times when he has to take matters into his own hands (dead). He usually tries to do it the most humane way possible, but the truth is there’s no way to do it without seeming cold. The back-breakers (traditional flip traps) are most likely the best way to go because death would seem to be instant, but Insider has trouble setting those without hurting himself. He doesn’t like the glue traps, it just seems too harsh. The old guy has tried the non-kill traps and had some success previously, but this fall they did not work. Apparently, this was a smart bunch of mice. So he resorted to the poison. Although it’s nice not to have holes in his cereal boxes, he still feels bad about it, especially since the dog is not speaking to him anymore because he misses the poop.

Things The Old Guy Dislikes: tardiness; overcooked steak; soft handshakes; family dinners; overcooked soup; places that are fancy just for the sake of being fancy; infestation; alcoholics who are in denial; people who drive with their blinkers on; undercooked noodles; people who complain they are underpaid; the scam that is health insurance; computer commercials; movies with sex; actors who think people care what they have to say about politics; and wrinkles.

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