My Thoughts

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Television is always bad in the summer, but it seems the networks have hit an all-new low this year with the karaoke shows. There are at three shows that put normal people on stage, give them to chance to finish the lyrics of a song and give them money if they can. These shows seem to be contrived for the sole purpose of one thing – giving the networks something to air in between commercials for the upcoming fall shows. It can’t be because someone actually thinks these are quality shows or could it.

Why do they call them the dog days of summer? Insider finds that to be a bit racist to his four-legged friends and is offended by it. It’s not exactly politically correct.

Does anyone like weeds? After last Sunday’s violet thunderstorm, which seemed to usher in more heat than ever, the weeds were springing up everywhere. Insider even found one miraculously coming up through his driveway, which is paved over by asphalt. Weeds always present Insider with quite the predicament. He wants to spray them with Round-Up, but Insider knows it really will not do the trick, and the old guy does not have the energy or muscles anymore to pull each one, the only true way to keep them from returning day after day in his garden and flowerbeds. So Insider let’s them do their thing and tries his hardest not to dream about them. All the while they just keep growing and growing.

The presidential election is boring the Insider. It all seems too predictable. Hillary is clearly going to win and become the first female president ever sometime next November. Obama lacks the experience and money. John Edwards has a hair fetish. All the Republican candidates are cursed by the war and some even have other problems. Rudy Giuliani’s children hate him (his teenage daughter admitted this week she is backing Obama). John McCain is too dull (he lost miserably in the primary to Bush in 2000). Fred Thompson’s wife is too sexy.

That’s not to say Hillary does not have some baggage. After all, she does have the former president and reigning sleaze ball Bill Clinton to deal with. The worst part of the whole thing is if Bill could run again, he would win in a landslide, despite all that stuff about cigars, semen on dresses and sexual harassment. Insider can only say one thing to that. To quote a young family member of his: "it is what it is."

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